Ran into a buddy the other day that is a fun and gregarious dude that will light up a room by his mere presence… He’s good looking, intelligent and has an incredible ability to engage with many different types of people.
For fun’s sake, let’s call him Sammy Social…
Sammy definitely likes to talk a lot, and on the surface, everybody seems to love him and enjoy his company…
Yet for whatever reason, whenever I bring up Sammy’s name in a setting outside of the one he is dominating, the typical reaction is a sigh, a fake laugh and some eye roles…
Huh? 🤔
Part of me believed there could be a jealousy element to it. He is a handsome alpha male that definitely takes center stage everywhere he goes. These facts alone are enough to turn off a good percentage of other insecure alpha males and also can be a bit overwhelming for women…
Yet for whatever reason (maybe because we are now in our 40’s and most anyone I hang out with has moved well beyond petty jealousy and insecurities), I don’t think his looks and dominant personality are the cause of the BLAH reactions from respectably credible people.
Ironically, Sammy was the first dude I thought of when Ryan Holiday brought to my attention this famous Voltaire quote:
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
Holy shit… That is it.
Sammy has all the right answers and I find him incredibly entertaining, but this dude rarely ever stops to ask you questionS about anything pertaining to YOU.
Generally, when Sammy does ask questions, he is simply looking for validation and/or some sort of support for HIS story… Quite frankly, he doesn’t give two f*cks about your story and the people have finally caught on… And because Sammy doesn’t care about the people, the people don’t give a f*ck about him.
Throughout the early years, Sammy was judged on his answers by a relatively less experienced and impressionable crowd…
Now, a lot of those very same people no longer judge Sammy and his answers, just like Voltaire recommends, they judge him on his questions. 🤔
-EB